Smiling and coping does not always mean okay. It can mean they have learned to hide what is happening inside.
Masking is hiding your real neurological responses and presenting a version of yourself that feels more acceptable. Children often learn to mask when they absorb the message that being themselves is not safe.
For autistic and ADHD children, masking can include suppressing stimming, forcing eye contact, copying other children, holding in emotions, and performing normal for hours.
It is exhausting. When the mask finally comes off, often at home with the people they trust most, the crash can be huge.
Long term masking is linked to higher anxiety, depression, burnout, and autistic burnout. The cost of hiding who you are can be huge.
They were fine today is one of the most damaging things parents hear. A child can appear fine and still be struggling deeply.
The child looks fine because they are working very hard to look fine. That effort has a cost, and families often see that cost at home.
Fine at school and struggling are not opposites. Both can be true.
If this helped you, please share it with another parent, teacher, or professional who needs it.
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